Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Opportunity Knocks Softly


Some of you may know that I spoke at my high school graduation. I guess I'm still proud of that speech, for the most part, but there's one part in particular that sticks in my memory:

"Right now, I’m still a little scared. But I’m not going to face my future like a deer in headlights, because it’s my future. And it’s exciting."

I have a confession to make: I lied. At that time, I wasn't excited about the future, or scared either. I didn't know what to think, because I don't usually think that far ahead. All I knew was that I was looking at another long, hot Minnesota summer and at the end of it, I would be going away. I certainly couldn't have guessed what I would actually be getting myself into. Change was coming, and, ironically enough, I was exactly like a deer in headlights (without the imminent threat of death, I suppose.)

During high school I came to develop an image of myself, a certain set of things that Mitchell Rysavy knows about himself and what he believes and what he wants to do with his life. Actually, if there's one thing I'm most sure about, it's my future self. Past Mitchell can be a jerk sometimes, but I've found out that future Mitchell is a pretty cool guy that you should totally hang out with sometime. So I've learned I don't need to be too concerned with the future, because if I do my part now, future Mitchell's got my back. Or... front? Whatever.

My freshman year ended up being the best and most challenging year of my life up to that point. Gone were any expectations set by anyone who knew me, and gone was any preconceived ideas of what Mitchell Rysavy would or should do when he walks into a room. Unlike many, I don't think I changed that much, but I did notice that many of the truths that I held to be self-evident about myself started crumbling. I started to question their use as a foundation for Mitchell as a person, and in doing so I slowly redefined myself in this new light. I gave myself a tuneup, if you're the kind of person that uses car metaphors for everything.

The point is, after a successful freshman year at UMD, I somehow managed to ensure that I wasn't going right back for a successful sophomore year - instead, I'd be going to Worcester taking a gamble in the success department. Why? I get this question lot from everyone, and from myself most of all. Why did I come to the University of Worcester? Why Worcester? Why England?

The truth is, even after three months here, I don't have a nice, prepackaged answer to these questions. I don't really know - but logically there must be a reason. I didn't really choose the University of Worcester specifically, and - interestingly enough - I didn't come here for academics. I just came because I saw an opportunity to do something different, and it fit with the new Mitchell - the same Mitchell who found his way to classroom on his third day on campus, and listened to a presentation about coming to some place called Worcester.

I didn't do it because I have some greater life plan that it fulfills, because I still don't think that far ahead. No, I came here because I saw that I was changing and I liked it, and I trusted that post-Worcester Mitchell would be near-unrecognizable from the person that gave that speech not so very long ago - I just needed a little push to get there.